What We Can Learn From One Another
by Neal Griebling

This past summer, Stillpoint conducted its second survey of members and friends. As we approach our 10th year, Stillpoint's board of directors wanted to get a sense of how our constituency felt about the organization.

A questionnaire was developed and distributed. Twenty six out of 42 people responded. The board subsequently hosted a Community Meeting Sept. 19, and discussed the issues with those attending. A copy of the complete results is posted in the foyer of the Fairmount zendo.

I thought it might be useful to revisit the survey and use it as a tool to begin an ongoing discussion of where the organization is and where we might want to be in the next three to five years. A similar dialogue several years ago produced a commitment within our membership to establish a dedicated space for community practice.

The survey results were most interesting in that they provided insight into how respondents perceive their practice and their relationship with Stillpoint. They might therefore serve as a first step in developing a preferred future design for our community.

Membership/Participation Of the 26 respondents, 22 said they consider themselves members of Stillpoint. Of these, 16 said they pay monthly dues. Four individuals expressed interest in becoming a member. A total of 14 said they attend sittings once or more each week. Three persons said they sat with the community every other week. Eight said they attended infrequently. A total of 19 said they attended the organization's community meetings. A total of 20 said they would be willing to volunteer time to help Stillpoint. A total of 22 said they are "interested" or "very interested" in seeing Stillpoint grow as an organization and attract new members.

Retreat Involvement A clear majority of respondents (17) said they attended at least one of Stillpoint's teacher-led retreats each year. Nine said they never attended. The breakdown: 9-never 3-once a year 5-twice a year 9-almost always Seven people said they were "interested" and 15 were "very interested" in attending retreats with a variety of Zen teachers. A total of 13 said they were "interested" and six said they were "very interested" in attending weekend retreats that offer overnight accommodations.

Relationship with a Teacher In completing the survey, seven respondents indicated they currently had a relationship with a teacher. A total of 17 indicated they did not currently have a relationship but expressed an interest in finding a teacher at some point in the future. A total of 20 persons indicated they were interested in securing a primary teacher for Stillpoint. I am very encouraged by the results of our survey. I think we have a solid core of people who are committed to Stillpoint, who find value in our community practice, and who are willing to give their time and resources to sustain and nurture the organization. In the weeks, months and years to come, the board of directors will draw upon our most important resource-our community of members and friends-to help craft a strategic plan that will further strengthen our purpose, enhance our capacity and secure our future. Please join us!

Practice Schedule Please be reminded we have regular morning sittings. We sit weekday mornings, Monday through Friday, beginning at 7:00 a.m. There are occasional schedule changes for the morning sittings, so please check with Neal Griebling at (412) 431-8016 for specific information.

MORNING SITTINGS 9:30 a.m. Sunday 7 a.m. Monday thru Friday

EVENING SITTINGS 6:30 p.m. Wednesday Upcoming

Sesshin Schedule: Sangha-led sesshin are generally held the 4th Saturday of the month. Please contact Don Orr at (412) 366-4268 for details.

2000 Teacher-Led Retreat Schedule March 7-9, 2000 with Shohaku Okumura June 9-11, 2000 with Dai-en BennageLater dates to be announced

Note: Please arrive at least 10 minutes early for all sittings as we begin zazen promptly at the scheduled times. Latecomers are urged to remain in the foyer until a round of zazen has been completed. Newcomers are asked to schedule an orientation with a senior member before attending a scheduled sitting.

Mind and Zazen
A Lecture by Shohaku Okumura

Posture, breathing and mind are the three most important points in our practice. This morning I'd like to talk about mind in our zazen or meditation. Actually, we do nothing with our mind. Why we do nothing is a very important point in understanding the meaning of our practice. I think Uchiyama Roshi is one of the few people who could explain why in an understandable way for modern people. So I'd like to share his teaching with you this morning about the quality or nature of our sitting meditation practice.

In "Opening the Hand of Thought," as a conclusion or explanation of how to sit and how to breathe, he said doing correct zazen "means taking the correct posture and entrusting everything to it." It seems very simple, and yet it's not easy.

So it is with our mind. We are usually doing something with our mind. We are always like a hunter. We want to hunt something, and we have tools to catch it. When we have some object or gain, we think, "What is the best way to get it?" When we don't have an object, how we can catch it? That's a problem. And we are confused about it.

Not only in the practice of zazen but in Buddhist teachings, the basic philosophy or understanding about reality is: no separation between self and others, subject and object. And since we are a hunter, there's an object and subject. As far as we are in that kind of relationship with the object or things we want, we are against the basic philosophy of Buddhism. Even when the gain is enlightenment or reality or peace of mind, if it's a gain or object, our attitude is going against the philosophy of emptiness. Emptiness means no subject and no object, everything working together. So actually this is one life, and there's no one who is hunting and who is hunted.

In our meditation, the whole is our life. When we want to attain peacefulness of mind or some kind of insight or wisdom, that is ourselves. The one who wants to do it is ourselves, so both subject and object are ourselves. And also in the case of meditation, we meditate and the object of meditation is reality or truth or nirvana or our true self. If we watch our true self, like we're watching the mirror, what we can see is only the reflection. We cannot see this person. So actually, subject cannot be seen. It's simple reality. We cannot see our eyes. This is a difficult point to understand and to practice. The problem is ourselves, and our intention to see it. We have to be very careful about this, and how we can deal with it. That is a main point to understand our practice.

Our practice is a really unusual, unique practice. We have no object to watch or meditate. So actually, our sitting practice is not meditation or contemplation, because there is no object.

It's really important to first have a kind of intellectual understanding about what our practice is. When we sit on the cushion, we should forget about it, and just sit. It's the same as when we drive a car, or when we learn how to drive a car. First we have to study about the parts of the car, and how to deal with it. But when we really drive a car, we should forget about that knowledge, and just drive.

The same is true for our meditation practice. First we have to understand it. When we really practice, we should forget it and just sit. Intellectual understanding is also important in our practice. While we are in the zazen position, if we continue our thoughts, we are thinking and no longer doing zazen. So we have to think before we sit and practice zazen, or after we stand up. Uchiyama Roshi says: "Zazen is not thinking; nor is it sleeping. Doing zazen is to be full of life aiming at holding a correct zazen posture." Thinking and sleeping, or in Dogen Zenji's expression, dullness and destruction, are two problems in our zazen.

Uchiyama Roshi says that if we become sleepy while doing zazen, our energy becomes dissipated and the body limp. If we pursue our thoughts, our posture will become stiff. He writes: "Zazen is neither being limp and lifeless nor being stiff. Our posture must be full of life and energy." So in our zazen, we should be really awake and full of energy. Zazen is not thinking and not sleeping, just being there.

And he says, this posture of not chasing after thinking and not being sleepy is important, not only in our zazen but in our day-to-day lives, too. He says it's like driving a car. If the driver is drunk, sleepy, or nervous, this too is dangerous. Being too caught up in our thinking while we are driving is also dangerous, because we don't see things around ourselves.

This really applies to any kind of work, any activity. The life force should be neither stagnant, or dull, nor rigid. It should be relaxed, awake and relaxed. The most essential thing is that our life force live to its fullest potential. Zazen is the most condensed form of life functioning as wide awake life.

The practice that directly and purely manifests that life is the most crucial thing in our life, and at the same time, a tremendous task. It's not an easy thing. You need to be really mindful, not too caught up in thinking or not sleepy. Then we can be aware of things happening inside and outside of ourselves. This is really difficult because we want to know the effect or result or benefit we get from that. When we are thinking benefit, then our zazen becomes object again-self and others, subject and object, separated. We cannot observe it. We can just keep doing.

Often when we try to understand, we have to use language. The basic function of language-thinking, using words and concepts-is separation. So there's a basic contradiction between our outer life, which is one with all beings, and thinking. Even when we think that we are one with all beings, still we separate from the idea that we are separate from all beings. There is no way to become one by using words. The only possible way is by using negative expressions-something like "not two." That's why Buddhist or Zen phrases or expressions are paradoxical or negative. Only by negating our thinking or intellection can we express the reality before separation of subject and object. [To be continued]

Sangha News

Rohatsu at Stillpoint Traditional Zen monastic practice commemorates Buddha's enlightenment with an intensive and especially strenuous eight-day sesshin. Rohatsu-literally the eighth day of the twelfth month-was originally determined by the lunar calendar date traditionally marking Buddha's enlightenment. Enlightenment day is now generally observed on December 8, and U.S. Zen centers and communities hold Rohatsu sesshin of differing lengths at various times during December. This year Stillpoint will observe Rohatsu from Sunday December 5 through Sunday December 12. During the week we will offer our usual 7 a.m. morning schedule and an expanded evening schedule, with zazen starting every night at 8 p.m., except Wednesday, which will begin at 6:30 p.m. as usual. We will end the week with a three-day sesshin, starting Friday December 10 at 8 a.m. and ending Sunday December 12 at 8:10 p.m. Everyone is invited and encouraged to participate as fully as possible in sitting with the sangha during this week of intensive practice. Watch the bulletin board at the zendo and the e-mail announcement list for details. Or call Catherine ([412] 521-8662) or Suzanne ([412] 851-4347) for more information.

An Evening with Beth Goldring Beth Goldring visited Stillpoint on Oct. 27 and gave a compelling talk on the true nature of compassion. Goldring is a 20-year practitioner of Zen Buddhism who studied with Maurine Stuart and was ordained at Empty Hand Zendo in 1995. She has been a human rights worker in the Middle East and Cambodia for many years, and now works in Cambodia on spiritual care for people with AIDS. In a clear and down-to-earth talk on suffering and the true nature of compassion, her brief visit here had a deep impact on those lucky enough to hear her. Deep gassho to both Beth Goldring for sharing her insights with us, and to Barbara Lebeau for arranging her visit here.

Newsletter Contributions Wanted: We're looking for articles, essays, profiles of fellow sangha members, poetry, art work, book reviews--and ideas for new features in the newsletter. All are encouraged to help this newsletter grow.

New Web Site Stillpoint now has a presence on the World Wide Web. Our web site was developed through the good work of sangha members Cressida Lennox and David Magaro and is part of the Carnegie Library-based Three Rivers Free-Net. The site features material from the Stillpoint introductory brochure, an on-line issue of the most recent newsletter, retreat schedules, membership information, description of Soto Zen practice, a brief history of Stillpoint and links to other sites of interest. The web site is part of an ongoing effort to let more people learn about who we are and what we are about. The site is a work in progress and your ideas on ways to expand it are welcome. Visit it at http://trfn.clpgh.org/stillpt/.

Workshop on Buddhism The Buddhist Society of Pittsburgh (BSP) held a one-day workshop on Oct. 2. Representatives from the many groups who comprise the local Buddhist community were there to give introductory talks and meditation teaching. June Peters represented Stillpoint and led a well-attended zazen session. Participants ranged from people with some experience to people who had never sat before-including one child-and from other traditions as well. There was a high level of enthusiasm among both participants and presenters. Those who took part learned about the diverse and vibrant community we have, which now includes Tibetan, Nichiren and several kinds of Zen practices.

Many thanks to: Robert Thornton for setting up the e-mail list. Bob Gerwing for repairing a damaged calligraphy scroll in the zendo. June Peters, Pam Bram and Adrian McCoy for helping with the Oct. BSP workshop. To the anonymous donor who generously put up matching funds for the new voice mail system. And to everyone who contributed to the new phone system through a special sesshin held on Oct. 9.